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  • Writer's pictureLorna Wells

Entry 014: The Struggle Bubble

Updated: Nov 15, 2021


It's been a while. Every time I say that I sing the lyrics of the song by Staind. Anyone else have that disease, where every phrase you hear or say is from lyrics to a song? Just me? Ok. Well, it HAS been a while since I've blogged. Over a year, in fact. Life is moving at the pace of a cheetah on steroids. I am having a hard time slowing down. I'm having a hard time LIVING my life the way I want to live it. I'm gonna dive in deep real quick here, so put your scuba gear on. I am just having a hard time. I know I'm not the only one. I don't think we have realized how much the past two years has affected us. For me, I am not depressed or in an obvious downward spiral or anything, I'm just scattered, unfocused, and anxious.


I have had several anxiety attacks in my adult life. I never had one until 2017. I had no idea what was happening and actually called an ambulance because I couldn't breathe and I was pregnant. After they checked me out and nothing was wrong, I felt so dumb for having called them, but a few months later I had another attack and that's when I realized what it was. My thoughts were out of control, thinking and worrying about things that were BEYOND my control. Social Media is a major source of anxiety for me, yet I still find myself completely engrossed in it's contents, scrolling until my thumb is tired and my hands are falling asleep. More anxiety. "She looks perfect! Why can't I have abs like that? Oh yeah, I've had 4 children and gained 50 lbs." You would think that would motivate me to eat healthy and get off my phone and workout. Nope. More anxiety and add on some stress eating. Endless cycle. What are we doing to ourselves?


I get a lot done and I'm definitely not lazy, but I don't feel accomplished or in control of my day. I feel like my day is shoving me around and my feet are never steady. I'm just tripping into the next thing with no stability.


I'm pouring this out to you today because I'm in the middle of this. Trying to get myself on solid ground again. I saw a post by Blake Lively a couple of years ago and she had posted a picture of herself with her trainer about 9 months after having her baby. She was all whipped back into shape, but talked about the struggle it was to get the baby weight off and how it took her a full 9 months. I would have liked to have seen her struggle THROUGH that! I don't want the perfect picture at the end, show me the morning you were tired, but got up anyway and went to the gym. Show me your flabby arms and pooched stomach while you are doing your pushups. Seeing only the end result isn't motivating, it's overwhelming.


I want to talk to you now, while I'm figuring it out, so we can figure it out together. Then we can celebrate our victories along the way.


Here are a couple of goals (not in a specific order) I have this week to get myself back in the driver's seat of my day, my mind, my heart, and my life!


  1. Planning - I love to plan, but I haven't used my planner in months. I'm getting out and planning my week, my days, and each hour tentatively.

  2. Social Media breaks - I am turning off social media for MOST of my day. I will have a designated time for it and I will stick to that.

  3. Prayer and devotion - I will spend 14 minutes a day in prayer and devotion. The reason for this number is because of a bible study I've been doing by Priscilla Shirer called Breathe. I HIGHLY recommend this study. Make sure you purchase the videos that go with it (Videos)!

Start small and make your goals measurable. I hope this helps you today and I hope that I can be transparent enough to encourage you and not overwhelm you. We got this! Let's pop this struggle bubble!!


Lean in to Life. It’s messy, but beautiful.

Much love,

LB



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7 Comments


jeanines610
Nov 16, 2021

crying reading this. thank you for posting this for me to see at just the right time. cheers to hitting goals, just a little bit at a time. <3

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monicaellenwood
Nov 16, 2021

Great words. Thank you for sharing. I appreciate you being real.

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hoffmanhousefull
Nov 16, 2021

So, so good!!! Took the words right out of my mouth. Feeling the same way lately. Woke up this morning (before seeing this) and told myself I will be more intentional and do something about it. Then I read this… “Ok, God. I hear you.” ☺️ Thank you for sharing! You are not alone, and thank you for using your platform to share with others to let us know we are not alone as well. It seems we constantly need that reminder that social media doesn’t show “the junk/the hard stuff” before the perfect picture. I admire those that do show and share that! Have a wonderful day!

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aliciaallard
Nov 16, 2021

Love you sister ♥️🙏🏻☺️

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kaymi.manning
Nov 16, 2021

Aw! I'm so glad to see you blogging again! I appreciate it soooo much! Thank you for being transparent and vulnerable for others sake. That is so incredibly brave and beautiful! When you said life is moving at the speed of a "cheetah on steroids", I felt that! I cannot believe I crossed over the 40 yard line of life! My oldest is 23 & my youngest is 9 with 4 in between and I agree....time flies!!!! I've heard and read your advice on being intentional in the past and that has really resonated with me. For me I feel financially stuck. I work 7pm-7am as an RN in acute care and I make good money but it feels like…

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