Entry 002: 'Perspective'
On Monday, Tauren and I drove to Lafayette, LA for a conference that he was playing at there with Our Savior's Church pastored by the Aranzas. It's about 3 1/2 hours away, so not a bad drive. On Tuesday, he needed to be back for a meeting at Lakewood and then get back to Lafayette. To make this happen, Pastor Aranza arranged for us to fly in a 4 seater helicopter back to Houston, which would take about half the time. I had never flown in a helicopter and I immediately got nervous as we walked up to this metal bug looking thing with death blades swirling on top. It seemed small for a helicopter, but what did I know. Once we were in, we lifted up almost immediately! I was only nervous for a minute or two longer and then I just rode in peace and enjoyed the amazing views!
We all wore these dope headsets so we could all talk to each other and hear each other over the loud whirring of the helicopter blades and engine. The experience was just so amazing! I rode in silence for most of the trip and began to think about my "word for the year" which is PERSPECTIVE. Talk about having a different perspective and viewpoint! This was the epitome of that.
There's a scripture that I quote often in prayer and conversation. Isaiah 55:8-9 NLT says "'My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,' says the Lord. 'And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.'" Have you ever tried to figure out what God is thinking or what He's planning on doing? If you haven't, don't start. It's impossible and will make your brain explode. He doesn't think like us or see like us. His thoughts and ways are so much higher than ours.
I wanted my word for this year to be PERSPECTIVE because our attitude can change if our outlook changes. Notice, I didn't say your CIRCUMSTANCE will change, but your thought process, your spirit, your hope, your passion, your desires, your faith, and YOU will change.
Let me tell you why I feel like God laid the word PERSPECTIVE on my heart for this year. I recently went from working full time to being a stay at home mom or SAHM. I'm learning the lingo. Since being married, I've always worked and been very busy doing ministry. We had one kid, two kids, three kids and I still worked. Then in April, it all changed. I was home. All day. With babies. I thought it would be easy, but boy, was I wrong. I felt stressed, overwhelmed, and unqualified for the job. As much as I loved being a mom, I wasn't prepared for this shift in focus. My husband was traveling a lot, going on tour, and I was home changing dirty diapers and cleaning up sticky high chair trays. I started getting grouchy and angry with the kids. I became depressed and lonely. I had friends and my family was helping me when they could, but It was really all about my mindset. I was looking at it like it wasn't important, I had no purpose, and I was just wasting precious time. God began to deal with me one morning as I was praying. We have a bay window that our couch backs up to in our living room, and there is a perfect amount of space back there for me to lie down and have some private space. I was laid out sobbing and having a pity party, basically throwing a fit, and I said "God, help me to make it through this difficult time so that I can get back to what you've called me to do." Immediately the Lord spoke to me and said, "This is what I've called you to do in this season. I've called you to be a strength to your husband, to make your home a sanctuary and safe place, and to raise your children with love and teach them about me." I really began crying at that point. What a brat I had been! What an honor to be called to reach and love my family. From that point on, I wanted my perspective to change.
Let me explain with this picture. I took this from the helicopter. Imagine being in a small boat in the middle of the grove of trees. You wouldn't be able to see much. If you were lost, you definitely wouldn't know that there was land so close by or a river that led to the open lake. All you would be able to see is trees. Look at how much I could see from the sky. I could see the river, the lake, the land and so much more!
When we are in the midst of a difficult season, we feel surrounded by that situation, thinking there is no end in sight. From God's perspective, however, He sees that the answer is just right there, a few paddles away. Even though we can ask God to help change our perspective, we still will have limited sight into what God is doing in and through us because His ways and thoughts are so much higher. This is where faith comes in. We have to trust God. He's the only one that sees the whole picture.
Instead of asking God, "Why me?" ask God, "What are you trying to teach me?". In every difficult season, in every pain, in every heartache, God is trying to teach us something. Don't waste it. Learn from it and come out stronger. Instead of complaining about your struggles, ask God to change your perspective. You will be amazed at what you will see.
My situation hasn't changed. I'm still at home with my boys all day, cleaning up messes and wiping snotty noses. My husband is still traveling, and I'll probably only have adult interaction a few times a week, but I am leaning into it. I would dare to say, I'm LOVING it. I want to make every moment count, all because God is helping me change my perspective.
Lean into life. It's messy, but beautiful.